I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Randomize
