Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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