its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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