I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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