did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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