I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize