I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
So much Jack, so little girl.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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