oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
