i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I forgot how hot balto sounded
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
