How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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