It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
