I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
