It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize