Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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