Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
