That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
