i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
