...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
