dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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