My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
