Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
you inspire me to be a worse person
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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