Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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