I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
