It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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