Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
