Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
