Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
