how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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