so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
