Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
