He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
