i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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