How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
