so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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