I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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