why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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