I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
