apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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