After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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