That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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