Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Your tits are I can't wait for
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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