I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
