Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
