I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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