U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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