Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
