can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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