Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
