I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
