god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
