some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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