id be glad to
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
