Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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