I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
