i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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