Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
There are leaves in my underwear?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
