You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
