I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Someone came in the potted fern
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
