yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
