recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
