ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I need to align my fucking chakras
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
