no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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